ACK

So I am sitting in my living room (on the floor. To those close to me, this should not surprise you), and I am thinking how quickly this year has flown by.It seems like it was only the new year yesterday and already August is upon us, and the beginning of a new year in 2010 is fast approaching.



A lot has happened this year; good and bad, and I can't help but realize suddenly how OLD I feel.I know, I know. I get it. You're thinking to yourself, "you're not old!". But really, I feel like an "adult" these days. Perhaps it has to do with the fact that I am applying to grad school and nursing school, and anxiously waiting interviews and news on that front. This immense decision to undertake a new path in my life is rather intimidating.



I am sure it has to do with the fact that parts of my body are suddenly not as cute as they used to be. Ha ha. I am not the hot young 23 year old at the bar. Hell, I don't go to bars much these days except to be with good people and enjoy their company rather than the pawings of an overgrown frat boy.



But the things I have learned are that I am coming into my own sense of self. This application process has forced my hand and made me do some introspection these last few months and I think I am finally learning to love my flaws and my pretty awesome neuroses.I think my desire to keep a neat home, and cook delicious treats for people isn't so much the negatively connoted suzy homemaker these days as I like being domestic and challenging Martha on the home front. I have developed a sense of style I think reflects myself, and I hope to only become more fabulous as I get older!And I know what I want these days ( I think.) HA. I am terrifed of possibly moving across the country to work harder than I can even imagine, and yet I comfort myself with the thoughts that I like new places and exploring them. And the possibility of leaving my friends makes me sad, but knowing that I will be around people who have the same desire to be of service to others is enlightening. Who knows where I will be in the next year, but I know that I am slowly coming to terms with my life and the road it has lead me to.I know I can learn to do some meditating that is for sure, but my eternal optimism makes me realize that things happen and the only thing to do is dust myself off and try again.